A social media post has sparked a discussion about the delicate balance between faith, family, and personal choices. A Christian mother – henceforth referred to as “OP” – was unhappy that her adult daughter got a tattoo. OP took to social media to find out if she was wrong.
A Surprising Revelation
OP’s daughter, a 26-year-old woman, recently visited her parents to reveal her first tattoo, sparking a conversation that would challenge their relationship. It’s worth noting that OP, while a Christian, doesn’t inherently view tattoos as sinful. However, her concerns were centered around the thought process behind her daughter’s decision.
The Concerns Arise
When OP’s daughter asked if she liked the tattoo, OP expressed concern about how it wasn’t necessarily honoring God. The tattoo in question depicted a smiling heart adorned with tiny, demon-like horns and a tail – a design that left OP perplexed about its alignment with their Christian faith.
Aligning With Faith and Values
This comment led to a tense exchange in which OP’s daughter accused her of constantly bringing God into everything and suggested that OP should just be happy for her. However, OP defended her perspective, emphasizing the importance of making decisions that align with their faith and values.
Remaining Mindful About Decisions
OP wrote: “I replied that, as Christians, we should always be mindful that the decisions we make are pleasing to God. I wasn’t putting down her tattoo, I was just curious how a tattoo with demon horns and a tail was a good representation of our faith.”
A Life-Altering Revelation
The conversation took an unexpected turn when OP’s daughter dropped a bombshell and declared that she was no longer a Christian. This revelation came as a shock to OP but she managed to maintain her composure and responded with a message of unwavering love.
A Calm Response
OP wrote: “Then she told me she wasn’t a Christian anymore, which was a bombshell. Fortunately, by the grace of God, I was able to keep my composure and say to her, ‘No matter what, I will always love you. And I love Jesus. And I’ll be praying that one day you will love Him as much as I do too.’”
The Fallout and a Challenging Ultimatum
Subsequently, OP’s daughter issued an ultimatum, stating that she would only resume communication if OP promised not to bring up God or Jesus in their conversations. OP, however, refused to make such a promise.
Constantly Talking About God
OP wrote: “I wanted to cook for her but she had to go and we have not spoken since then. She told me, through my husband, that she won’t talk to me again unless I promised to go through an entire conversation without bringing up God or Jesus. I refused.”
Faith Taking Precedence
OP turned to her sister and best friend for guidance, both of whom found themselves unable to definitively judge who was right or wrong in the situation. They acknowledged OP’s right to freely discuss her faith but also recognized that it might seem as though her faith was taking precedence over her relationship with her daughter. Conflicted, OP took to social media to find out if she really was in the wrong.
The Internet’s Response
OP’s post attracted quite a lot of attention and, for the most part, people said she was in the wrong. One person wrote: “Trying to force your beliefs on anyone [means you’re in the wrong]. In doing so, you will only sour her even more to organized religion. You need to learn to respect your adult daughter’s boundaries.”
A Personal Topic
Another person said: “Religion is a very personal and divisive topic. I’m not a spiritual person either. I feel very uncomfortable when people ask me about God or the afterlife. What I think about those topics is quite intimate. The only thing that comes close would be if somebody would ask me about my sex life. So please, understand the nature of the topic and respect that some people don’t want to talk about it.”
Silence Over Preaching
Others were much harsher with their words. One such individual said: “You are the type of person who makes anyone who identifies as a Christian look like a pushy jerk. Your daughter is not a little girl and has the right to make her own choices. You’re also using this post to push your agenda. If you can’t have a conversation without preaching, keep your mouth shut.”
Religion Should Be Private
Another harsh commenter said: “[You] sound just absolutely insufferable. Religion should be something private and there’s really nothing much more annoying than Christians going on about God and Jesus in conversations that have nothing to do with religion. My guess is you also don’t want to hear about her agnosticism or atheism.”
Advice for OP
Others left advice for OP. One individual said: “You say you’re not doing it on purpose but maybe you should learn to break this habit of bringing your faith into every conversation before you speak to your daughter again.”
Bringing God Into Everything
The commenter continued: “It bugs her, you bringing God into everything, and in order to respect her point of view you will have to make an effort to change. If you continue like this, anyone you are hoping to bring to God will feel annoyed and leave you.”
Ruining a Relationship
Another commenter wrote: “You’re going to ruin the relationship with your daughter for the relationship with a God that she doesn’t even believe in. I know firsthand how this works out. My family are bible-thumping, Jesus-loving, attend-every-service Christians. Good for them. I do not believe the same way.”
Letting Them Do Their Thing
The commenter continued: “I never say anything negative to them about their beliefs, I do not argue with them about why they believe that way, I don’t try to change their minds. I let them do their thing. However, the opposite is absolutely not true.”
A Very Annoying Family
“I cannot have a conversation with my mother, grandmother, or uncle without God having to come up. They know my stance but for the last 30 years at least, I’m always told I need to find a church, that I need to get right with God, that the end of the world is coming. Have a relationship with your daughter. No one is saying you can’t love God but would it really damage you to just talk to her and leave religion out of it?” the commenter concluded.
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