Emily Belson, a mother from Maryland, recently posted a TikTok criticizing the double standards when it comes to parenting.
Her Husband Was Praised for Doing the Bare Minimum
In her video, Emily talked about how dads are praised for doing the bare minimum while moms aren’t praised at all. She said: “My husband just got home from the grocery store. He took both boys – they’re one and two. Three people stopped him to tell him what a great dad he was for taking them to the store.”
The TikToker Elaborated on the Double Standard
The mother went on to express her frustration further, explaining that she often takes her sons out and never receives any praise. “Do you know how many times I’ve taken both of my kids to the grocery store? To literally everywhere? A million. How many people have stopped me to say I’m a great mom? Zero,” the TikToker said.
Fellow Moms Swarmed the Comments
Mothers flocked to the comments to join the discussion and express their own frustrations “Same with my husband. He actually gets annoyed by it and tells them that he’s only doing what any other dad should be doing,” one mom commented, while a plethora of other parents agreed.
They Shared Personal Stories
Many commenters, mostly fellow mothers, shared personal stories about similar experiences. One mom described a time her husband took the kids to the store, one where you always had to bag your own groceries, and the staff offered to bag the shopping for him because they were so utterly impressed with what he was doing – the bare minimum.
A Few Men Missed the Point
A few people, most notably men, missed Emily’s point. “So you wanted to be a mom for the compliments?” one man said, not understanding that Emily meant neither parent should be praised for doing the bare minimum. “I wasn’t trying to offend. Unfortunately, society today still puts the onus on moms taking the brunt of child-rearing,” he later added.
Others Took the Opportunity to Praise Emily
Given that Emaily mentioned she’d never been praised by strangers for her parenting, several commenters took the opportunity to do so. “You’re a great mom,” they wrote, with some people going into more detail and explaining that they’ve really come to admire the mother after following her TikTok for some time.
Some Accused Her of Trying to Make Parenting a Competition
Despite the praise and overall agreement from other moms, Emily received some criticism. “Parenting is not a competition. We should acknowledge and support good behaviors of both parents. As a single dad, I do like hearing those things,” one person commented.
Others Vowed to Change Their Ways
While a minority criticized Emily, a large number of commenters said they’d be changing their behavior going forward. “Let’s normalize telling at least one mom they are doing a good job while we are out and about,” one person wrote, while several others agreed and posted similar responses.
Emily Had More to Say
According to The Independent, Emily went on to praise her husband and explain that the clip was supposed to be light-hearted. “He absolutely deserves praise; he’s a fantastic dad! But it was hilarious. Rarely have I been complimented on my parenting in public. He was appreciative of the praise, of course, but was very aware of what a double standard there is for moms and dads,” she said.
Emily Is Far From the Only One With Frustrations
Mothers across the internet have expressed frustrations similar to Emily’s. Eight months ago, a Reddit user posted about a similar experience. “My husband is getting praised for carrying out basic parenting tasks,” she said. She went on to talk about how her husband took their child out for a walk – a walk they normally all go on together – and got praised for his parenting by strangers.
The Redditor Added Some Clarification
The Redditor later added some clarification, perfectly explaining what Emily and so many other moms were trying to get at. She said: “My husband is an awesome dad, and I think he deserves all the compliments in the world. The people complimenting him are well-meaning and trying to be nice. I get that.”
She Perfectly Explained the Issue At Hand
The Redditor continued, breaking down the issue perfectly. She said: “I’m commenting on the phenomenon of dads, and dads only, receiving outsized praise for very basic parenting tasks, such as simply being with their child like I described. It’s amusing to me that dads get heaps of praise for things that are just expected of moms. It’s like the world thinks dads are children too. It’s condescending to dads really – but I’m choosing to look at the double standard as funny rather than get upset about it.”
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