A social media post has sparked debate about the topic of baptism and parental rights. The post, shared by a 31-year-old man, delves into a conflict that arose between him and his wife, aged 29, over the decision to baptize their child.
An Agnostic and a Catholic
The couple, despite sharing a strong bond and similar perspectives on most matters, found themselves at odds when it comes to religion. The husband identifies as agnostic, while the wife is a devout Catholic. Despite these differing beliefs, their relationship was historically characterized by open communication and mutual respect. However, the harmony was disrupted when the topic of their baby’s baptism emerged.
The Wife Overheard a Conversation
The incident began during a family visit to the wife’s parents’ house, where a casual conversation with the husband’s father-in-law turned to the topic of the child’s baptism. The husband expressed his opinion that the child should be allowed to choose their own religious beliefs when they’re old enough. Although the father-in-law didn’t push the matter further, the wife overheard the conversation.
She Confronted Him Eventually
The wife didn’t say anything about the matter at the time. She did, however, place a cross in the baby’s newly decorated bedroom. Eventually, she directly confronted the husband, who reiterated his belief in allowing the child to make their own religious choices. In his social media post, the husband wrote: “I told her that I didn’t feel comfortable doing that because I thought the baby should be able to choose on their own and it wasn’t our place to simply tell them stuff about God as if it was a fact.”
She Accused Him of Indoctrination
The discussion became more heated and the wife even accused the husband of wanting to indoctrinate their child. He wrote: “She said that not bringing the baby up Christian was essentially indoctrinating it to be an atheist like me – she refuses to say agnostic. I tried to explain to her that I was totally fine with the baby being Christian but not until it was old enough to decide that on its own. She got mad and stormed off into our bedroom.”
The Wife Left the House
The disagreement escalated and the wife stormed out, leaving the husband with concerns about their relationship and the unresolved issue at hand. He wrote: “About 30 minutes later she came out of the bedroom with a suitcase and told me that something had come up with her sister and she was going to stay there for a few days. She didn’t elaborate and was out of the house before I even got to say anything.”
Parenting Is a Collaborative Journey
Parenting is a collaborative journey that requires compromise, understanding, and a willingness to put the child’s best interests above anything else. As such, the husband concluded his post by asking social media users whether or not he was in the right.
They Were Both in the Wrong
Commenters, for the most part, criticized both the husband and the wife. “Religion and raising a child are [things] that should be discussed before marriage but certainly before getting pregnant. There should be some agreement before starting that adventure,” one person wrote.
Different Religions Can Work
A fair few people echoed the aforementioned commenter. One wrote: “People with different religions can totally make it work. My parents are some such people. But you need to have that conversation honestly and figure out what that difference is going to mean for you when it comes up. I can’t imagine just never addressing it and expecting things to work out.”
A Lot of Give and Take
Some people shared stories from their personal lives. One such individual said: “I am religious [and] my husband [is] atheist. Before we were married, we sat down together and discussed religion and children. Then, again, when we decided to try for kids we had a discussion. Neither of my children are baptized but they do attend a religious school. Once they are older, they can decide if they want to attend church with me and if they want to continue in a religious school setting. It took a lot of give and take [and] long discussions but, as adults, we knew it was our job to get things sorted before we were married and before kiddos were in the picture.”
The Meaning of “Indoctrination”
One commenter pointed out that, despite the wife’s accusations, what the husband wanted was the opposite of indoctrination. They wrote: “She’s projecting the indoctrination thing onto you. By not allowing the child to choose a religion for themselves and forcing them into it, that’s indoctrination. Your suggestion is actually the opposite. She knows it but she doesn’t care.”
Religion Should Be a Choice
Some commenters expressed the belief that religion should always be a choice. One wrote: “I agree children should never have religion pushed on them. Religion should be a choice. When you teach religion as fact from the beginning, that choice is being taken away. You never disagreed with your child being Christian or baptized, you just want them to learn and decide for themselves. However, all of this should’ve been discussed before you ever got married.”
Some People Doubted the Story
One commenter questioned the story and entertained the possibility of it being fake. “Is there more to this story? Or maybe it’s fake? I feel like there must be because I really don’t see how this could’ve just never come up before. You guys are literally married. Surely you discussed how you’d want to bring up a kid?” one person said.
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