Body Integrity Identity Disorder (BIID) isn’t new – but it’s been thrust into the spotlight in recent years. Transableism, a reasonably newer term, describes people who feel they should’ve been born disabled.
A Woman Blinded Herself
A woman from North Carolina blinded herself at 21 and is happy with her decision. Jewel, the woman in question, dreamed of being blind from childhood. In 2006, her dream came true. Using numbing eye drops and small amounts of drain cleaner, Jewel blinded herself.
Jewel Wanted to Be Blind From Childhood
Jewel knew she wanted to be blind from childhood. “My mother would find me walking in the halls at night when I was three or four years old. By the time I was six, I remember that thinking about being blind made me feel comfortable,” she said. She went on to describe how, after learning it could damage her eyes, she would stare at the sun for hours.
She Learnt Braille
When Jewel was a teenager, she started wearing thick black glasses. She got her first white cane when she was 18 and became fluent in braille by the age of 20. At that point, the young woman wanted to make her dream a reality. In 2006, Jewel found a psychologist willing to help her become blind.
The Procedure Was Simple
The psychologist put numbing eye drops in Jewel’s eyes before adding a couple of drops of drain cleaner to each one. “My eyes were screaming and I had some drain cleaner going down my cheek and burning my skin. But all I could think was, ‘I am going blind, it is going to be okay.’”
She Was Disappointed
Initially, Jewell was disappointed; when she first opened her eyes, she could still see. “When I woke up the following day, I was joyful until I opened my eyes. I was so enraged when I saw the TV screen,” she said. However, her eyesight worsened over time and, eventually, she was completely blind.
She Lost an Eye
Jewell ended up losing an eye to a corneal meltdown – meaning it collapsed in on itself and had to be removed – and the other developed glaucoma, cataracts, and a lot of scarring. Initially, she told her family that her blindness was an accident. Before long though, they found out the truth and disowned her. She has the support of her former fiancé, however, who is legally blind due to naturally occurring early-onset macular degeneration.
She Has No Regrets
Even now, Jewell – who is studying for a degree in Education – claims she has no regrets. She said: “I really feel this is the way I was supposed to be born, that I should have been blind from birth. When there’s nobody around you who feels the same way, you start to think that you’re crazy. But I don’t think I’m crazy – I just have a disorder.”
Raising Awareness of BIID
Jewell wants to share her story to help raise public awareness of BIID and to encourage people with the condition to seek professional help. Whether or not people with BIID should be allowed to make themselves disabled is a controversial topic – but if one thing’s for sure, it’s that BIID is very real and more people should be aware of it.
Online Commenters Were Divided
Jewel’s story was shared across social media and opinions were divided. One person wrote: “She’s happier now. Just because others can’t understand that doesn’t mean she should be banned from reaching happiness. She’s an adult and can make permanent decisions about her own body.”
Others Were Concerned About Taxpayer Money
A fair few commenters discussed the moral and ethical implications of transabled individuals getting disability benefits. “She’s now on disability and uses resources set aside for the disabled, resources that are not infinite. So it does impact others,” one person wrote. “I’m all for body autonomy and letting consenting adults do what they want with their bodies – but what about disability benefits? Can transabled people blind themselves and then claim them?”
Others Tried to Educate
Some online commenters, somewhat understandably, tried to put Jewel’s actions down to stupidity – but informed individuals attempted to educate. “Words fail me,” one individual wrote. “It’s called Body Integrity [Identity] Disorder. People with this issue feel like some part of their body isn’t theirs and will go to great lengths to remedy that. The cause is unknown but it’s an actual thing,” another hit back.
The Only Solution
“Yeah, people have had legs removed simply because they didn’t feel it was something they should have. Truly surreal,” one person wrote, expanding on the aforementioned individual’s explanation. “And the thing is, it’s the only treatment that’s been found to actually work,” another added. Another replied: “Yeah and a heck of a moral quandary for doctors. A person comes in and asks you to amputate their perfectly functional limb. You know that if you turn them away, you’ll see them in the ER next week, near death after they’ve [amputated] the limb with a chainsaw.”
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