In recent years, a curious trend has surged to prominence on social media known as the “tradwives.” These women are openly contesting the principles of feminism, enthusiastically embracing a more traditional role as homemakers and chronicling their experiences in great detail online.
The Emergence of “Tradwives”
The “tradwife” phenomenon may not appear entirely novel at first glance. After all, traditional housewives have existed for generations. However, the contemporary twist lies in the digital age, where these women use social media as a platform to showcase their domestic lives.
The Essence of Being a “Tradwife”
“Tradwives” are women who have chosen not to work outside the home, focusing their energy on caring for their children, husbands, and households. But what distinguishes them from conventional homemakers is their wish to share every facet of their traditional lifestyles on social media. The allure of this movement is evident from the extensive media coverage it has garnered, with interviews and features in prominent publications and appearances on various television shows.
Alena Kate Pettitt
One central figure in the “tradwife” community is Alena Kate Pettitt, the founder of the Darling Academy. This platform celebrates British etiquette and seemingly yearns for a time when society was characterized by open front doors and close-knit communities. However, Pettitt’s habit of highlighting her husband’s role as her protector and provider often blurs the line between husband and father.
Champions of Feminism vs. Misguided Rebels
“Tradwives” claim to uphold feminist ideals by asserting their right to choose not to work. Feminism has given women the freedom to make this choice – and so they have. While the premise of choice is integral to feminism, asserting that “husbands must always come first if you want a happy marriage,” as some “tradwives” do, is undoubtedly a controversial move.
A Battle Against Insecurities
A closer examination reveals that the “tradwife” movement may not be primarily about challenging societal norms or oppressive systems. Instead, it appears to be a manifestation of personal insecurities, with these women asserting themselves as oppressed truth-tellers. This stance contributes to an ongoing culture war that often seems more about rhetoric than genuine societal change.
The Uncomfortable Association With the Far-Right
Adding further complexity to the “tradwife” movement is its association with the far-right in the United States and other regions. While British “tradwives” tend to distance themselves from this affiliation, the movement’s resonance with White supremacists advocating for White women’s submission is undeniable.
Finding a Balance
While the pursuit of a homemaker role should not be equated with extremist ideologies, “tradwives” may benefit from a reconsideration of their online presence’s intensity. Continuously sharing content about domestic life may inadvertently leave them with less time to fulfill the traditional values they champion. Striking a balance between their digital personas and their actual domestic duties could be a prudent course of action, fostering a more nuanced and sustainable engagement with the principles they hold dear.
The Internet’s Thoughts
The concept of “tradwives” has been discussed online in great detail. One commenter said: “Plenty of marriages didn’t work out when women weren’t independent but there was no way out so they just stayed imprisoned in them. I have a feeling a lot of ‘tradwives’ don’t realize a lot of the stuff they preach feels more like cosplay than an actual lifestyle.”
Romanticizing the Past
The commenter continued: “It feels easy and natural for them because they don’t have abusive [and] controlling spouses. If their husbands ever did turn that way, they have the freedom and ability to give it up and go get a job, a place to live, and a separate bank account – unlike their 1950s predecessors that they overly romanticize.”
Hypocrisy Among “Tradwives”
Another person said: “That lady promoting the ‘tradwife’ lifestyle, saying women should stay home and pump out babies and not be on social media and that the husband should be the one who brings home the paycheck – she has her own ‘tradwife’ online business which she’s obviously profiting it off of. Stupid.”
Raised in Conservative Christianity
Others discussed religion. One person said: “A lot of them were raised and indoctrinated in the cult of conservative Christianity and frankly lied to about feminism. That being said, every right they have was hard won and hard fought by feminists and their allies.”
A Different Theory
Another individual said: “So this is way outside of any expertise I might have but my completely uneducated guess is that a perceived increase in trending ‘tradwives’ is closer to a death rattle than, like, an actual uptick in demographic size.”
The “Tradwife” Trend Could Be On Its Way Out
The commenter continued: “I actually think it’s good news that supporters of being a ‘tradwife’ feel they have to shout so loudly to be heard – it means they’re vanishing in popularity as feminism is becoming normalized.”
A 24/7 Power Dynamic
Another person said: “Here’s another weird thing about these ‘tradwives’ – they talk all day long about how much they love submitting to their husbands, shutting up, and doing exactly what they say. Total 24/7 power exchange, right? Yet if you really watch their content, their husbands barely feature.
An Online Business Model
The commenter continued: “They are always extremely proud of, and aggressive about, their online business model. They will demand that businesses, libraries, local school boards, even their extended family concede to their will. Then, if they don’t, they march into these settings anyway, and film it all for content!”
Love, Honor, and Obey
The commenter concluded: “There’s literally a scene in [a] documentary where [a] ‘tradwife’ featured on the show coerces the priest at her local church into using the phrase ‘love, honor, and obey’ at her renewal of vows.”
An Idealized Version of Reality
Others theorized about the rise of the trend. One person wrote: “If anything, I think it’s reflective of how toxic working for a living has become. They all are operating on the assumption of an idealized version of the reality that they think will make them happy, reinforced by groups and individuals who stand to benefit by them buying into that system.”
A Mythical Husband
The commenter continued: “They all believe, or want to believe, that their experience will be exceptional. They will find the magical mythical husband who will be the kind, courteous protector who brings home big bucks and will never abuse and always provide. The reality, of course, is that even if the perfect man who is all of the above is found, there simply isn’t enough time in the day to do all the perfect things.”
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