George Conway has taken to social media to mock MAGA Republicans with a list of Trump-inspired Ten Commandments.
The New Ten Commandments
In a post that now has over 23,000 likes, over 5,000 shares, and over 2,000 comments, Conway mocked MAGA Republicans with a new version of the Ten Commandments much more suited to the attitudes and lifestyles of America’s far-right.
Representative Greg Steube
Conway shared the list in response to Representative Greg Steube’s approval and praise of new House Speaker Mike Johnson’s Christian views. Steube said: “In January, [Johnson] joined me on the House floor while we were in a deadlock over who our next speaker would be.”
Lifting the Race to the Lord
Steube continued: “We lifted up the speaker’s race to the Lord and asked for his divine guidance. Immediately after the prayer, 14 members changed their votes, ultimately leading to Speaker McCarthy securing the gavel by the end of the day.”
Faith Above Facts
Steube concluded by implying that the United States “needs” a speaker that will put faith above facts, logic, morality, and science: “Mike Johnson is a strong conservative but, above all else, he is a strong Christian. He’s not afraid to look to his faith for guidance. America needs that more than ever in the U.S. House.”
Followeth Thy Orange Jesus
Conway shared Steube’s post with his new Ten Commandments attached. “Thou shalt have no other gods before me, except thou shalt followeth thy Orange Jesus over any moral cliff,” the first one read.
Donald Trump’s Website
While the list did start strong, it got funnier and funnier as it went on. The second commandment read: “Thou shalt not make unto thee any graven image, unless thou shalt have purchaseth it on [Donald Trump’s website].”
A Musical Production in Denver
“Thou shalt not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, except when thou shalt attacketh Brandon or thy RINOs,” Conway continued. Moving onto the fourth, he wrote: “Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy, unless thou attendeth a musical production in Denver.”
Thou Shalt Shooteth Looters on Sight
“Honour thy father and thy mother, and burieth thy mother on thy father’s golf course,” the fifth said. With the sixth, Conway addressed the far-right’s racism, classism, and xenophobia: “Thou shalt not kill, but thou shalt shooteth looters on sight, and puteth alligators in thy moat to keepeth out the Mexicans.”
The Funniest Commandment
The seventh commandment was arguably the funniest of them all: “Thou shalt not commit adultery, but if thou shalt do so with thy **** star, thou shalt payeth her off through an intermediary and falsifieth thy accounting records.”
Trump’s “Stollen” Documents
The eighth, however, was a close second. “Thou shalt not steal, unless thou needeth to steeleth one moreth than a certain number of popular votes or unless thou can hideth thy stollen documents at thy bathroom in thy resort,” Conway wrote, intentionally misspelling the word “stolen” in the same way Trump often does.
No Elaboration Necessary
The ninth point was the bluntest of them all. “Thou shalt not bear false witness. LOL,” Conway wrote, clearly knowing elaboration was unnecessary. The final commandment said: “Thou shalt not covet – but seeth nos. 2, 4, 7, and 8 aboveth.”
The Internet’s Response
Conway’s post was quickly shared across the internet and people flocked to comment sections to give their views. One person said: “Government and elected officials making decisions based on guidance from a make-believe entity… and we wonder why nothing ever gets accomplished.”
The Bible’s Prediction
Another commenter shared an image depicting a “Make America Great Again” hat. The text on the image read: “The Bible predicted Christians would follow a false prophet and that they’d wear his mark on their foreheads.”
The Founding Fathers
Another person wrote: “So many of the founding fathers were Deists. They didn’t believe in divine intervention or predestination. Some believed in God as a creator but, after that, we were on our own, relying on free will, as is evident in the Constitution.”
Johnson Won’t Be Remembered
Discussing new Speaker Johnson, one individual said: “He’s a backbencher with no real leadership history. Only fourth or fifth choice. I predict he’ll get nothing done of any significance. He won’t be remembered for anything”
A Bleak Future
Another person wrote: “Funny, George… but the scary part is that it’s true. A theocracy is the endgame for them. The fun part will come with the war fought between various denominations over which one is the true religion of America. Maybe that’s why they need so many AR-15s?”
Putting Things Into Perspective
One commenter found Conway’s post so funny that their laughter was uncontrollable: “This was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a long time. It’s rare that I actually laugh out loud uncontrollably… but this did it. It also really puts into perspective how crazy things have gotten.”
A Hopeful Future
Another commenter wrote: “Ah, George. You’ve outdone yourself here. I look forward to the future, once everything is back to normal and fascism is eradicated, when this post will be studied in schools while they talk about how the public coped with Trump’s tyranny.”
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