Raising children can be difficult in a completely new way when they become teenagers and form their own worldviews, especially if those beliefs differ from those of their parents. As such, one parent has taken to social media to find out if they’re in the wrong for banning their daughter from partaking in her chosen spiritual practice.
A Clash of Beliefs
The parent – henceforth referred to as “OP” – explained that their daughter is 16 years old. As a devout Catholic, they expressed concern that the teenager in question had decided to start practicing witchcraft – a practice with huge variety, though it often includes nature worship.
Misunderstanding the Nature of Witchcraft
OP wrote: “She has recently started practicing witchcraft and has told me about it. I do not like this at all. It goes against our religion. I have told her she isn’t allowed to practice it and she then tells me that the Bible involves witchcraft? She also gives me things about Pagan vs. Catholic. I have repeatedly told her I will not allow her to worship the Devil.”
A Religious Conflict
One of the key points of contention in OP’s post is their daughter’s assertion that the Bible contains witchcraft. This raised a dilemma for OP, as they grappled with reconciling their religious convictions with their daughter’s interpretation.
Autism and ADHD
A significant revelation in the post is the fact that the daughter is autistic and has ADHD. She feels that incorporating witchcraft into her spirituality will help her cope with struggles caused by the world’s lack of understanding of her neurodivergence. OP wrote: “She has autism and ADHD and tells me it helps her. I told her I still will not allow her to. She cried and told me I care more about my religion than her.”
A Meeting With the Church
OP went on to say: “She then told me that if I believe in a ‘magic man in the sky,’ she should be allowed to be Pagan. I told her to get out and that I will be scheduling a meeting with the church to talk about this with her. I’ve already let her have a girlfriend. I don’t know what else she wants.”
Emotional Toll on the Relationship
The emotional toll on the parent-child relationship was evident in the post. OP said: “She has stopped talking to me completely and I don’t understand why. After much consideration, I’ve decided to post. I hope I’ve done this right. Am I [in the wrong]?”
The Internet’s Response
OP’s post now has over 300 comments and, for the most part, people thought they were being unnecessarily controlling. One person said: “Say it with me. It goes against YOUR religion. I guarantee you also believe a lot of [garbage] churches have fed you about Paganism being evil and it’s just not true.
The Ignorance Is Real
The commenter continued: “You can’t claim it goes against ‘our’ religion when she clearly doesn’t share that religion. There’s nothing I can’t stand more than Bible-pushers and that’s what you are. Open your mind. Paganism has nothing to do with the Devil. The ignorance is real.”
Have Some Respect
Another person said: “Being a Pagan is not in direct opposition to your doctrine – but that aside, your kid is going to choose her own path. She is 16! She gets to have a say in her belief system! She’s not an adult but she’s not a child – have some respect.”
A Great Thing
Others encouraged OP to do some research. One individual wrote: “It’s an older [practice] than yours, steeped in a very rich history. If you educated yourself on it rather than crying Devil, you might see how it is a female-friendly, feminist, supportive [practice]. More than the one you worship, which is actually a great thing for your daughter.”
The Importance of Acceptance
Another commenter wrote: “You are pushing your beliefs onto someone else. You’ve probably been trying to indoctrinate her all of her life. She’s exploring and she has every right to. If you want your daughter’s love, accept her as she is.”
Advice for OP
The commenter continued, giving OP some much-needed advice: “Be supportive of her choices. Listen to her. It doesn’t mean you have to disregard yours. You believe what you believe. Let her do the same. It’s possible to co-exist with different views.”
Religious Freedom Goes Both Ways
Others discussed religious freedom. One individual said: “Religious freedom swings both ways. If you want yours, she needs to have hers. As for the sexual orientation, you’re not ‘letting’ her have a girlfriend: The decision of choosing a partner, no matter their sex or gender, is her own.”
Children Are Not Property
Another commenter wrote: “She has a right to choose her own path. She isn’t your property. She is a whole human being. The harder you squeeze her into your personal mold, the harder she will fight to get away for some breathing room.”
Paganism, Witchcraft, and the Devil
A fair few commenters pointed out that the Devil is a Christian concept and, as such, has no relation to Paganism. One such individual said: “Let your daughter practice what she believes in. Also, Paganism and witchcraft have nothing to do with the Devil. Do some research before you decide to condemn something.”
Cutting All Communication
Echoing the aforementioned commenter, another individual said: “You don’t get to decide what she believes. At any age, I would have cut off all communication with you at this point. Paganism has nothing to do with Devil worship. Why don’t you take time to educate yourself on it?”
Control Is a Form of Abuse
Another person said: “You are putting your religious beliefs above your daughter’s feelings. Don’t be surprised if she cuts you off when she turns 18. You are trying [to] control her by attempting to force her to quit practicing witchcraft. Control is a form of abuse.”
In Their Daughter’s Shoes
Others tried to get the parent to imagine being in their daughter’s shoes. One person said: “Imagine if someone told you you couldn’t practice Christianity and that, if you did, you would suffer for all eternity. Now, add those problems to a hormonal teenage girl whose parent isn’t supportive of her sexuality either. The way you believe in Christianity is how she believes in Paganism. I hate to pull this card but you have no proof God exists.”
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