When two parents have different religious views, raising children can be even more challenging than it usually is. As a result, a Christian mother has taken to social media to find out if she’s in the wrong for involving her daughter in her religious practices.
A House Divided by Faith
The mother – henceforth referred to as “OP” – is a 27-year-old Christian. She and her husband, a 29-year-old atheist and former Christian, have found themselves in a unique situation where their 5-year-old daughter is being raised with a blend of both religious and secular influences.
The Couple’s Approach
While OP is committed to instilling Christian values in their daughter, her husband believes in letting their child decide her religious beliefs when she’s older. The couple’s approach includes baptizing their daughter and attending church on specific occasions like Christmas and Easter. OP attends church on Sundays without her daughter, as per her husband’s wishes.
A Moderately Christian Upbringing
OP wrote: “We have a daughter who is being raised ‘moderately’ Christian – my husband’s words. She has been baptized and we plan on following through with the other sacraments and attend church on specific times such as Christmas [and] Easter.”
A Prayer for a Family Friend
The controversy erupted when OP received distressing news that a close family friend, aged 72 and high-risk, had been hospitalized with pneumonia. Concerned for her friend’s well-being, OP decided to offer a heartfelt prayer. She made her daughter a snack and began to pray privately in another room.
A Curious Child
OP’s daughter unexpectedly walked in and inquired about her mother’s actions. OP explained that she was praying for their sick family friend, asking God to watch over them and help them. Moved by the moment, her daughter expressed her desire to join in. Together, they prayed.
Repeating the Prayer Together
OP wrote: “My daughter walks in halfway and asks what I was doing. I explained how someone was sick and I was asking God to look after them, praying for them. My daughter asked if she could join in, so we repeated the prayer together.”
A Clash of Parenting Philosophies
The incident took a turn during dinner when OP’s husband asked their daughter about her activities earlier in the day. Without hesitation, the young girl shared that she had prayed with her mom. This revelation immediately made the father angry, though he concealed it until their daughter had gone to bed.
Matters of Faith
When OP attempted to explain her actions, her husband reminded her of their agreement not to force any particular religious beliefs onto their daughter. He emphasized that matters of faith should be decided upon by both parents.
An Odd Suggestion
Frustrated and at odds, OP questioned what she should have done differently, to which her husband suggested she should have distracted their daughter or locked the door to prevent her from witnessing the prayer. His words led OP to take to social media to find out if she was in the wrong.
The Internet’s Response
OP’s post now has over 5,000 likes and 2,000 comments. For the most part, people said she did absolutely nothing wrong whatsoever. One person said: “Allowing her to participate is not the same thing as forcing a belief on her.”
Showing vs. Forcing
Echoing the aforementioned individual, another commenter wrote: “Showing her your religion or taking her to church isn’t forcing it on her. Forcing it is when you tell her she has to pray or make her go to church when she doesn’t want to.”
The Husband Was Wong
The commenter continued: “She should be allowed to see and participate in religion with you if she wishes. Your husband is [in the wrong]. How can she have a choice if she’s never shown options? I’m an atheist but I never force my child to not believe in a higher power if she wants to. She too was baptized.”
A Bit Contradictory
Another person said: “Your daughter wanted to participate so you allowed her. How ridiculous is it that he says she can make her own decisions and then says it has to be agreed on by both parents? A bit contradictory when he’s bound to say no.”
The Importance of Exploring Spirituality
Others pointed out that the husband, rather than letting the daughter decide, appeared to be attempting to force atheism onto her. One person wrote: “She needs to be allowed to explore her own spirituality and decide for herself what she wants. If she wants to visit a church or say a little prayer, it’s okay.”
It Was Her Choice
The commenter continued: “She asked to join in. It was her choice. It seems your husband is breaking your agreement by trying to make your daughter atheist. If he is banning any religion near her, that is forcing atheism onto her.”
Not What the Husband Wants
Echoing the aforementioned individual, another said: “Your husband is going overboard. Seriously overboard. Forcing her to participate is a very different thing than allowing her to. What if later in life she chooses to be a Christian, Muslim, whatever religion she chooses – will she be forbidden because it’s not what your husband wants?”
Advice for OP
The previously mentioned commenter went on to offer OP advice. They wrote: “You need to have a conversation with your husband about this. His reaction is too much. Forbidding your child [from doing] something without communicating why is not going to do anything other than make your religious practices more attractive.”
Age-Appropriate Discussions
The commenter concluded: “Instead of banning all mention of religion and your practices, he should be discussing them in an age-appropriate way, allowing her to understand why you choose to believe and he doesn’t.”
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