A recent social media post has sparked a heated debate after a woman shared her experience growing up in what she described as a religious cult.
A Cult by Definition
The woman – henceforth referred to as “OP” – began her post by describing her upbringing in a strict, religious household. “I grew up in a very, very religious household. Quite literally, our family was part of a cult by definition,” she said.
Religion at Work
Now, OP has found herself in a dilemma. There are a fair few religious people at her workplace and religion is a commonly discussed topic at work events. “I live in and work in Texas for a very large company. We have quite a few religious people and it’s a common topic to come up at company outings, people asking what religion people have and talking about it,” she said.
A Harmful Cult
OP went on to explain that she worries about angering her coworkers. She said: “I do not want to make anyone mad so when asked these questions I just say, ‘I am not religious and would rather avoid discussing it as I grew up in a cult that harmed me in many ways.’ So I do not name the religion or any details.”
The Controversial Conversation
The situation took a turn when one of OP’s coworkers expressed interest in her past and pressed for details about what she considered harmful in her cult-like upbringing. OP, feeling the need to explain, mentioned that the religion taught that women were considered property and inferior to men. She also said that it advocated for violence against LGBTQ+ individuals.
The Harmful Beliefs
OP wrote: “I mentioned that they taught that women were not people but property, as well as things like gay people should be killed – I am bisexual. So growing up around that, I had many issues. I was told constantly I would go to Hell for simply finding other women attractive.”
All God’s Plan
OP continued: “I would be told I wasn’t allowed to be smarter than the boys or be the leader in any situation. Probably the most harmful to me was that my parents refused to get me help with my autism and ADHD because it was God’s plan.”
The Coworker’s Reaction
After OP shared the aforementioned details, her coworker appeared to connect the dots and assumed she was talking about Christianity. This led him to express his disagreement and insist that OP had not been part of a cult. The situation left OP wondering if she was in the wrong in regard to referring to her experience as such, so she took to social media to find out.
The Internet Responded
For the most part, people thought OP did nothing wrong at all. “You talked about your own experience in an actual cult. As long as you acknowledge that not all of Christianity is a cult then you’re fine,” one person said.
Cult vs. Religion
Another individual wrote: “The only difference between a cult and a religion is the size. You were polite and diplomatic about it until they pressed you for more details, which you gave honestly. You did nothing wrong.”
A Fine Line
Others discussed the fine line between religion and cults. One person wrote: “He asked, you answered. Not your fault he doesn’t like your response. It’s a fine line between religion and cult and some religious communities absolutely function as cults. I usually just say a simple ‘I’m not religious’ and leave it at that. Most people don’t care enough to inquire further at that point.”
A Personal Story
Some people shared personal stories. One such individual said: “Christianity is a cult dressed up nicely to not appear that way. I had a similar upbringing to you. When I was a baby, they dedicated me to God and the church – which in itself is super creepy and I don’t know how other Christians don’t see it that way – and they brainwashed me to believe their way.”
Lying About Belief
The commenter continued: “I never really believed it. I always had questions so they brainwashed me into lying about believing because I was afraid of Hell. So I get it. I really get it. You’re not [in the wrong] for having an opinion about something that has affected you and your life.”
Christianity and Harmful Beliefs
Another person said: “Christianity has a lot of harmful beliefs and it’s not wrong to call them out, especially when you’re not even attributing them directly to Christianity. It can be a hard thing to hear, that your religion endorses some really ugly things, and a lot of Christians handle this in different ways.”
Embracing the Ugly
The commenter continued: “[Some Christians] embrace the ugly, gloss over it, or renounce that part, but it doesn’t change the fact that the Bible puts some pretty heinous and even ridiculous things in black and white. The fact that he assumed you were talking about his religion says a lot more about his beliefs than it does about you personally.”
Progressive vs. Fundamentalist
Others, while acknowledging that OP was not in the wrong, defended Christianity and religion. One person said: “I wouldn’t necessarily say Christianity is a cult though. There are many flavors of Christianity and the progressive versions are very different from the fundamentalist versions. However, I’d agree that fundamentalist – or any branch that is too narrow-minded to allow for new interpretations and new scientific information – would be a cult.”
Traumatizing Children With Religion
Continuing, the commenter said: “I grew up in an extremely religious household and it was awful. It doesn’t seem like a cult to a lot of people because most people aren’t in extreme situations. Telling your kids that the world is going to burn and virtually everyone you know is going to be tormented in the worst possible way forever for not following their interpretation of an ancient book isn’t healthy.”
OP Won’t Win the Argument
The commenter concluded: “It isn’t logical either for many reasons. The problem is that people hate to admit that they [messed] up and they’re used to it. I don’t think you’ll win the argument with him but I think most people would call him the [one in the wrong] for presuming to know your exact experience.”
Advice for OP
Others offered advice. One person said: “You were in a cult and called it such. But if they regularly talk about religion, I’d suggest changing your answer. You don’t owe them any explanation. In your situation, I’d say, ‘Sorry, I’m not really comfortable discussing religion.’ If they keep asking, just keep repeating some version of that.”
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