Parenting is a challenging endeavor, particularly for one father who recently took to social media to vent his frustrations. In his post, he asked if he was in the wrong for threatening to stop allowing his children to visit their grandparents alone over religious indoctrination fears.
An Open and Honest Dialogue
The father – henceforth referred to as “OP” – explained that he and his wife have chosen not to impose any particular religious belief on their children. Instead, they have opted for an open and honest dialogue with the aim of allowing their kids to form their own opinions.
Answering Questions Honestly
OP wrote: “My wife and I are raising our children without religion. We’ve taught them it’s a thing that exists and always answered questions about it as honestly and truthfully as possible. We don’t want to push one on them.”
Devout Christian Parents
On the other hand, OP’s parents are devout Christians and struggle to accept his parenting choices. OP made a point of noting that they love his children just as much as he does. “I can count on one hand the people I trust with my kids and they’re on the list,” he said.
Their Hearts Are in the Right Place
Because of OP’s parents’ love for their grandchildren, they struggle to refrain from trying to convert them to Christianity. “They believe they’re saving my children from the eternal damnation they couldn’t save me from. I feel their hearts are in the right place,” OP wrote.
Almost Entirely Converted
But, despite understanding their perspective, OP’s patience is withering. He went on to talk about the last time his children returned from their grandparents’ house during summer, they came back almost entirely converted to Christianity.
Raised Christian From Birth
OP wrote: “The last time they visited for summer – we live in a different state from my parents – they came back speaking like we’d been raising them as Christians from birth. ‘God says this and that.’”
Grandma and Grandpa Say God’s Real
OP went on to recall an interaction with one of his children. The child asked, “Why don’t you believe in God, Daddy?” OP responded by saying, “Because he’s not real, sweetie.” The grandparents’ influence was evident when the child countered with, “But Grandma and Grandpa say he is!”
The Controversial Ultimatum
Frustrated by the ongoing interference, OP issued an ultimatum to his parents. He warned that if they continued to disregard his wishes and boundaries, they would no longer be allowed unsupervised visits with the children.
The Grandparents’ Response
OP wrote: “After this one, I told my parents that if they keep doing this they won’t get to see the kids without my or my wife’s supervision. They told me I was being hateful and it was ‘wrong to keep a grandchild from their grandparents just because you don’t want them to hear about the Lord.’ Am I the [in the wrong]?”
The Internet’s Response
OP’s post now has over 11,000 likes and over 2,000 comments. For the most part, people felt he did nothing wrong whatsoever. “They should respect how you wish to raise your children,” one individual said.
The Kids Sound Young
Another wrote: “Your kids sound young. Your parents need to respect your parenting preferences and since obviously they won’t, I think it’s reasonable to end any long visits like this with your parents until your kids are old enough to think critically about religion for themselves and explore their own beliefs – maybe age 12 or so.”
Some Potential Hypocrisy
Others held mixed opinions. One person said: “Your parents shouldn’t try to force any religion on your kids but, at the same time, you’re saying that you’re trying to let them make their own decision while outright telling them that God doesn’t exist.”
Another Form of Indoctrination
A few people echoed the aforementioned commenter. One person said: “If you’re telling your kids that God isn’t real, rather than that you don’t believe in God, then you’re indoctrinating them in exactly the same way that your parents want to indoctrinate your kids.”
A Confusing Childhood
The commenter continued: “I would add that my parents did the same thing to me when I was growing up and it severely limited my capacity to explore religion at a young age which left me very confused growing up. It took me a long time to actually find religion and that was to my detriment.”
A Similar Situation
Another person recalled a situation similar to OP’s. They wrote: “It’s really, really easy to not bring up religion while babysitting. Your parents are being [awful]. My [mother-in-law] is the same way. Keeps sending us Bible books and [stuff] for our son. I throw them away. Luckily, she lives way across the country and we don’t have to worry about visiting. She’s the type of woman who thinks all problems can be solved by praying.”
A Personal Story
One commenter shared a personal story, highlighting how OP’s parents should behave. They wrote: “When my eldest was born, we told our parents – all Catholic – that we weren’t going to baptize him and would allow our kids to figure the religion thing out for themselves. After the initial shock and horror wore off – add to that a half-joke suggesting they would baptize him while they were babysitting – it’s been a non-issue for the past eight years.”
Answering Questions About Religion
The commenter continued: “As an aside, when my kid asks me if God exists, my answer is that I don’t know but I don’t think so. I tell him that a lot of people do believe in different gods and that’s okay too. I will help him learn about all of them if he’d like. Simply telling your kids that God doesn’t exist isn’t helping to leave the door open for them to figure out their own beliefs.”
Don’t Trust Them
Another commenter said: “You are the parents, not them. They have violated your trust and their hearts are not in the right place. In my opinion, they are not people you should have on your shortlist of people to trust with your kids.”
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