Millions of elderly people in the US are said to be living alone and experts believe the numbers will only increase in coming years. Census data says that “the share of people living alone increased every decade from 1940 to 2020. The largest increase happened between 1970 and 1980 – the share increased from 17.6% to 22.7%.”
Solo Living Is on the Rise
The report stated that 16 million people over the age of 65 lived alone in 2022 – three times as many as in the 1960s. There are lots of reasons behind the rise of single households. Divorce, however, is said to be a leading reason for solo living among the elderly.
A Third of People Getting Divorced Are Over 50
Speaking to CNN, Susan L. Brown, co-director of the National Center for Family & Marriage Research at Bowling Green State University, said: “We were just floored by our findings. Well over a third of people who are getting divorced now are over the age of 50. We just can’t ignore that group anymore.”
“Gray Divorce” and Its Meaning
Between 1990 and 2010, couples over the age of 50 were getting divorced more rapidly. The phenomenon led to the term “gray divorce.” A study by Brown and another expert – I-Fen Lin – noted: “The divorce rate among adults aged 50 and older doubled between 1990 and 2010. Roughly 1 in 4 divorces in 2010 occurred to persons aged 50 and older. Demographic characteristics, economic resources, and marital biography were associated with the risk of divorce in 2010.”
Brown Had More to Say
Brown went on to say that divorce is not on the rise for every age group and that “older adults are really bucking the trend.” She continued to explain the data: “This means more and more people are going to be aging alone and outside of marriage. Certainly.”
Why the Divorce Rate Is Higher for Older People
According to the Clark Law Firm, there are several reasons behind “gray divorce.” These include “abuse, empty nest syndrome, financial differences, infidelity, addiction, [and] lack of intimacy” among many more. If one thing is clear it’s that divorce rates are rising for a multitude of reasons.
Health, Well-Being, and Marriage
On the subject of marriage and well-being, Brown reportedly said: “We know that staying in a low-quality marriage can be very detrimental to individual health and well-being. When you look a little deeper, marriage is protective for individual health and longevity when couples are in satisfying and rewarding marriages – but in marriages that are low-quality and full of conflict, the outcomes are significantly worse on average.”
Finding a Way to Save Marriages
Jane Greer, a marriage and family therapist, said: “I encourage couples to think back to why they first fell in love with each other and what they found so appealing and attractive about the other person. By remembering who that person was and how they made you feel, it can help rekindle desire and excitement.”
More Experts Weighed In
On the topic of how to save relationships, Harville Hendrix – a couples therapist – said: “Curiosity is when I show interest in you as a person without it necessarily being driven by anything I need. It’s really important in a relationship. Being curious is good for relationships because it helps you to listen and be more open. If you want something different from your partner, make a request. This is more beneficial and easier to understand than being told you’re doing something wrong or that you need to stop doing something.”
Online Commenters Had Mixed Thoughts
Online commenters had mixed opinions on the matter. One person wrote: “The biggest things that destroy marriages are alcohol, drugs, gambling, abuse, lack of respect and understanding, carousing, too much stress, apathy, not spending quality time together, not working as a team, not [having] enough free time, [and] political differences. The biggest one is resentment. It is a nightmare to spend time with a toxic person.”
Some Commenters Were Adamantly Against Marriage
Some online commenters were adamantly against getting married. “Marriage is the leading cause of divorce. You can be in a loving [and] committed relationship without marriage,” one person wrote. “Married couples are more likely to live longer than uncommitted couples who split apart far too easily,” another replied. “I did say ‘committed.’ A couple who [are] not married and can leave at any time but choose to remain in the relationship are healthier than a marriage where one, or both, are trapped due to any number of reasons,” the original commenter hit back.
People Suggested Other Reasons for the Rise of “Gray Divorce”
Some people suggested other, perhaps more pressing reasons for rising divorce figures among older individuals. One person wrote: “I’ve seen several older couples divorce just so that one of them could have state assistance with medical needs. It’s heartbreaking for them. In one instance, the husband had to move into the next county for the wife to qualify for the assistance.”
Plenty of People Brought up the Same Thing – Healthcare
A plethora of individuals shared the opinion of the aforementioned commenter. One person wrote: “I can tell you exactly why they do it – healthcare. It is that simple. These people are the baby boomers who were sold a lie by the government [claiming] they would be taken care of in their retirement years. Back then it was known as Social Security Insurance. The name has changed over the years and is now just SS. It wasn’t until years later that the government started saying they would need some other form of retirement money to help keep them afloat. Then they got heavy into 401Ks and other forms of savings for retirement. So now a lot of elderly just have their SS and need more help. Getting a divorce is one way of getting that extra help.”
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