Finding an ideal partner often leads us to consider many qualities. While physical attraction and shared interests are often emphasized, there is one aspect that should never be underestimated: intelligence. In this article, we delve into the unyielding reasons why intelligence is a non-negotiable trait when it comes to selecting a partner. Prepare to confront the harsh reality and discover why settling for a dim-witted companion can lead to an inevitable path of frustration and disappointment.
Looking for Good Conversations
“I don’t know what intellectual level my requirement is, but I just want to be able to hold a good conversation with my partner and discuss over important topics and understand each other in case of different opinions. That’s all I wish for, basically.”
Here, the person expresses that for her, it’s not about having the same level of smarts. It’s about having good talks and being able to understand each other, even if they don’t always agree on what they’re talking about.
Balance and Respect
“You just have to be able to talk to each other and communicate well. However – make sure you know what your partner’s preference is too.”
It’s crucial to talk and share ideas. But it’s also important to know what your partner likes. The person here talks about a past experience where her intelligence caused problems because her partner didn’t like it.
Similar Levels Work Best
“Try dating someone who is significantly different than you in terms of either intelligence or education level, and I think you’ll find out fairly quickly that it matters…”
This person feels that dating someone with a big difference in smarts or education level can cause issues. A big intellectual difference can make it hard to find things in common to talk about or fit in with each other’s friends and family.
Basic Understanding is Important
“Had an ex who was extremely sweet and nice, and we got along well, but she was just kinda dumb…”
Here, the person shares an experience with a nice past partner who lacked basic knowledge. This made it difficult to discuss even simple things daily, which put a strain on the relationship.
Lifelong Learners Over Education
“Education level isn’t everything with the caveat that’s IF the person is a lifelong interested learner…”
The person here thinks that being eager to learn is more important than the level of education. They prefer someone who enjoys reading and gaining new knowledge.
More Than Just Grades
“There’s always a lot of talk about “being intellectual” but most don’t know what that means or what that means to them.”
According to this person, being smart isn’t just about good grades. It’s also about being able to talk about different things, showing curiosity, and being good with family and friends.
Challenging Conversations are Fun
“Someone my level or who is more intelligent. I like learning, having in-depth conversations, and being challenged intellectually.”
This person loves learning new things and having deep talks. They prefer a partner who is at least as smart as they are or even smarter.
Learning from Each Other
“Ideally, you’d want someone who knows more than you in some ways, and you know more than them in others…”
The person here feels that partners should have different strengths. This way, they can learn from each other and have fun talks about their interests.
Avoiding Misunderstandings
“Similar intellectual level would be the goal. I’ve dated guys who asked me what words that I used meant every other sentence, and that was very short-lived.”
Here, the person talks about the problems when the partners have different smarts. It can lead to misunderstandings and can make the relationship not last long.
Lifelong Learners Wanted
“Yes, absolutely. I wouldn’t want a relationship where I couldn’t discuss an array of topics with my partner or where they couldn’t go down rabbit holes of thought with me…”
This person values a partner who enjoys learning and thinking. They want to be able to talk about different topics and explore ideas together.
No Babysitting, Please
“I don’t really mind how smart they are as long as I don’t feel like I’m babysitting someone…”
This person doesn’t care much about their partner’s intelligence. They just want a partner who can handle life’s basic tasks without needing help.
Different Strengths, Shared Interests
“Someone with similar intellect is my preference. However, I do very much like subject specialism in a partner…”
Here, the person prefers a partner with similar smarts. They also like it when their partner knows a lot about a particular subject. This can add interest to their relationship.
In-Depth Discussions and Learning
“For me, I prefer talking to/dating guys who have like the same intellectual level as me or higher. I enjoy having in-depth discussions…”
This person enjoys deep talks and learning from their partner. They prefer a partner who is as smart as they are or even smarter.
Open to New Ideas
“For me, It’s not fully a matter of whether she’s intelligent or not. It’s whether they are willing to be open to new ideas/ experiences and is willing to admit they are wrong and learn from their mistakes.”
For this person, it’s more important that their partner is open to new ideas and can admit mistakes. They value learning and growth over how smart their partner is.
Different Types of Smarts
“Realistically aim for parity. If one is much smarter than the other, a disrespect and/or anger and/or frustration will eventually take hold…”
This person believes that partners should have similar smarts. They also point out that there are different types of smarts, like knowing about science or being good with feelings.
Not a Big Deal
“Well, I’m a high school dropout with autism, so no, not particularly lmao.”
Here, the person says that their partner’s smarts aren’t a big deal to them. They make a joke about their own situation, showing they don’t take it too seriously.
Smarts Matter for Parenting
“Oh yes, it does! I want a smart mother for my children!”
This person cares a lot about their partner’s smarts, mainly because they want a smart mom for their kids.
Emotional Smarts Matter More
“Yes, but I care more about emotional intelligence.”
The last person values emotional intelligence more than book smarts. They want a partner who is good at understanding and managing feelings.
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